I left my job of seven years after deciding I didn't like my new boss. I was hired as a unit manager for Waffle House. I trained 12 weeks and was placed in my own unit. I didn't enjoy cooking, because I was basically a short order cook with all the responsibility of running the restaurant as the manager. ( nothing against short order cooks) I didn't like the fast pace and working over 450 degree grill, getting grease and waffle iron burns, and I felt very inexperienced at my job. I quit after 2 months on my own. I was unemployed for three months. I worked on finding a new job and was hired at Marshalls, an off-price retail store as a merchandising coordinator. I had originally applied for assistant manager, but didn't get that position, but am setting my sights for that position. I am starting over, have debt, and just getting back to a steady paycheck. I made the most money of my life with Waffle House, but really hated it. I enrolled in college while out of work, with a goal of earning a certificate in full charge bookkeeping. But, I withdrew, proving I can't do college. I don't understand myself at all. I tried to focus on studying and understood accounting, but felt stressed about not having a job. My head wasn't in the right place. FAILURE is how I feel. my son is now 17 and he knows my struggle. Our struggle. I can't seem to excel and move myself up in my career. I don't understand if I'm not a go getter, and what is missing in my way of knowing how to become an accomplished woman. I wish I knew.
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I just added two years to both me and my son's age, and the time I've been at my current job. I'm still here....today I feel as if I'm in the middle of a mid-life-crisis....I'm tired, look tired, grey hair sprouting up, but I'm too distraught to color on the weekend, I feel beat. I've been working, bringing home my income to cover the basic of needs, rent, food, gas for car, car insurance, heat, phone, and a cable tv, internet package (not a need I know)I've aquired one more cat, which makes three cats, one dog and two parakeets. I wonder if this is just how my life was meant to be and that I am here to work and be the mom that I chose to be. Sure, I've tried college which has left me with $69k in student loans, out of Pell Grant funds, and still no degree. Makes me wonder what is my problem? Why do I fail time after time? I try not to have pity parties, and usually don't get so down that I'm crying my eyes out, because I will compare how bad I think my life is to someone that has no indoor plumbing, electricity, medical care, dental care,in the midst of war and genocide. That is how I can feel better and say that I have what I need and I am surviving and feeding my child. I am truly blessed to have health and "a" job. But, then paying the bills and having the basic necessities, isn't enough...I begin to feel, I need a car with a/c, and summer sandles, clothes that are new (not always used) to take my son on a trip, to have investments and financial security and not pay-day-to-pay-day living. I don't feel accomplished yet, I'm stuck and not sure how to get out. I've applied to the police and sheriff departments, hoping to be accepted (it's a long process.) I'm thinking of getting back to college and that is what I need complete to make myself happy. I'm so sick of my current job that I could cry. Plus, I still am barely making the bills. I had a second job for most of last year, cleaning offices, but I quit because I just became so tired of being away from home, the apartment was a mess, I was burnt out. I feel I just don't have the spark I need to get myself up and onward to better opportunities...i've asked for more opportunities at my current job and the president enrolled me in a course to learn more about our industry (commercial roofing)and told me to start there. Well, I don't see where I would move up or if a position would materialize for myself. How do I know if I should stick it out here or start to move on?
I'm thinking I should seriously update my resume and start searching for a new job. I don't feel I have enough skills or education to get a really good position, but I might be able to find something more than 32K a year. (20k after taxes and medical deductions) I'm torn, and I've been thinking about a comment on one of my last blogs. I need to examine what I have been doing over and over that isn't getting me where I want to be career wise, financially, and professionally. I've worked and tried to go to college while raising a difficult, boy with ADHD. There has to be something different I need to do. I'm off to working on my resume.
I have planned out how I will spend all my paychecks through December and plan to stick to the Budget. What I really am frustrated about is that I run out of my money right after my pay date. I have $20 going into savings and have accumulated $80 so I have a bit of money out there. But, after the main bills rent, bankruptcy payments, I sometimes don't have money to stretch the next fourteen days. I usually never have cash in my wallet or bank that is discretionary, and I'm really in trouble if my son want's after school money or a school related expense comes up. I've been living in the same rut for the last 13 years, after I had my son, I really didn't think I'd still be so strappd for money. I am going to apply for another part-time job. I want to try to sell some things around my apartment that aren't needed or not used, and I haven't had good luck on craigslist. I feel when I am writing this, that the blog community, thinks I am a real dumb mom, for this continual pattern that I have. I need more money and i'm sure the economy has a part in my money woe's. but, what if I didn't earn half of what I do now? How are other people out there surviving in this nation, today? My son just started 8th grade and if it wasn't for my mom, I would not of been able to buy new shoes or clothes, school supplies, school fee's, and lunch money. This year, I was approved for free and reduced meals at the school, so it seems my income may be below the state or national guidelines. Either I'm going to work two jobs for the rest of my life, or I need to get back to the nursing program asap so I can work my way out of this situation.
I really don't know what to do I need rent because my son's father doesn't provide his portion of child support and I still need to pay all my bills this month. I just want to give up...i feel like i don't know where to turn or how to make my life better. I'm just getting tired from work because it's super busy at work and I'm working almost 10 hours a day, so I can keep up with my duties, but for what? I don't have a college education and I make 30k a year, there is not anywhere to move or advance in this job and the only reason I've stayed to long is because i have a steady paycheck, but over the past five years I've learned how this company operates and I don't like it. I work my ass of! I put up with b.s. from my boss and I am sure I'm seen as nothing very important there. My position is a customer service coordinator. From what I know this type of position isn't worth much on the pay scale. I need to make a change, but will it be for the better or the worse? the economy is all screwed up and who knows what will happen next. I feel that my life is crashing down and I can't fix it in time for me to enjoy it. I'm in my 40's and I feel hopeless. I've raised my child for thirteen years with not much support from his dad and I'm just tired. I'm tired of struggling and being the head of a household and working this job and not getting ahead. What is the purpose of working if there's not a goal to work for? I'm just running out of energy. I am not respected at work, I know I'm seen as a low paying position person, my ideas aren't valued and I hate everything in my life right now. I spoke to my son's dad and he's got a job to do work on a residential home that supposedly is going to pay him around 8,000 dollars. he screws with my head and plays games with me by telling me he's going to give me 1,000 dollars that I desperately need, then he dissappears, then he's back, now he's sleeping in his truck, he has no residence, he makes my life hell, because he has never stood up and taken responsibility with his child. He's actually giving his dad money, because, he feels sorry for him. I've raised this child for 13 years and have started college and stopped and I have 58,000 in undergraduate loans and no degree! I have like 48 some odd credits and I still have not managed to complete some education to become financially secure. I've dealt with everything that comes with raising a child and to top it off, he's had ADHD since he was about 4 years old, adding to the challenge of raising a child, I have been drained with medical costs for prescriptions, counseling bills, doctor bills, more counseling bills all to make sure I'm doing everything I can to raise my son with a fighting chance to make it in this world. But, along the way I'm just losing my will and don't know what i should do for my education. I'm so stressed all the time about my situation I can't concentrate at work and have had to stop my last enrollment a year ago,anyway,when my dad died. I don't trust anything anymore, I was going to be a nurse, because it was a secure job and the healthcare field is booming, then I hear that hospitals are short of help, because they won't hire nurses because of the economy. I'm so confused..I don't know what to study.
Is gone and I have just enough to pay $700.00 towards rent and will owe the landlord $50.00. I used my checking account to pay my $500.00 Ch. 13 payment and $190.00 to get my internet service turned back on. Both payments I made, knowing the bank would pay and I'd owe NSF fees. I couldn't get money to pay chapter 13 it was either that or the case would be dismissed. I still need to pay $437.00 by June 30th. My bank account is overdrawn $626.00, I owe chapter 13 $437.00 and those are the two biggest debts I need to pay. All Day Sunday I started going through all my "stuff" and began to set up a staging area on my kitchen table to take pictures of my items I want to sell. I'm thinking of putting my items on ebay and Craigslist. I didn't have a truck or the money to get my stuff out to the flea market this past weekend, so that plan didn't pan out. I am really on my own and in a huge financial bind. I can only do so much.
I think that I am screwed up with my ideas of how to pay my bills.
I was paid on June 10th - my standard amount of $905.00. I had a negative balance in my account from car insurance and a bank NSF Fee. So, right off the bat I had around $700.00 to pay all my bills and still have the basics (food, rx, gas, and electricity) for two more weeks. So, this is what I did with my money: I paid my electricity (which i'm already on a payment plan for, normally my electricity is around $48 per mo.)
Taxi gasoline: 25.00
My personal car gasoline: 32.00
Unexpected drug & alcohol class for son: 60.00 (that's a whole other story)
Cell phone family plan: 162.00 (workin on this)
Eating out: 69.00
The problem is I don't have money to pay the most critically important bills I have:
Chapter 13 payment: 500.00 (regular 250.00 + 250.00 late amount)
My Chapter 13 is past due and if I don't pay the $500.00 by today it will be dismissed, and all the creditors in my plan will start garnishing my wages.
And I can't pay my rent until the 24th, which it will then incur a 10% late fee. Rent will be $825.00.
I will have $75.00 left over to use for all the bills and necessities.
I have the taxi driving job, but it costs me money each weak to lease the taxi and if I don't work every night after my day job, I won't make any money from that job. I like driving the taxi, it's a good job. On a Friday and Saturday night I can make about $250.00 (minus the $40.00 for gas) so I think $200.00 for about 7 hours is pretty good money. But, I get tired after working my day job and don't want to leave my (at risk) son at home alone so I don't drive the taxi.
I make the same mistakes and each payday I am in the same situation and I am trying to cut and reduce my current bills (cell phone, car insurance, cable tv & internet) but I feel literally sick right now. I need so much money and I want to be all caught up and not be behind with every single bill, but i don't seem to be able to make it happen.
Last week, sitting and going over my money situation I had a thought: I could sell all my furniture and belongings (except the absolute necessary items) and move into an extended stay hotel for a few months to catch up on everything, I was in such a state of freaking out. I do have an extra couch, a hutch, some old dressers and odds n ends I could try to sell for some type of money, that could work....
I think I've been hiding from the truth that making a home for me and my son is priority, but I can't afford to have the lifestyle that I try to keep. I think I need to face the facts about how much money I earn and do absolutely what it takes to get out of my financial mess. It's easy to avoid the blatent truth about my situation.
I am looking for a new apartment. Most inexpensive apartments don't have a washer and dryer. The ones that do, are higher. Doesn't it all even out at the end of the day? I read online about how owning your own set can cost (these are guesstimates) 10 cents to 50 cents per load. I spend between 30 and 60 each month. Some places will rent a stackable to you for 30 a month. Any thoughts on how to get the best deal? I have my son and me, I wear my clothes more than once but his usually need washed after one wear.
I bought a Verizon phone at Big Lots that I thought was the kind you buy the minutes for increments depending on my usage. It turns out that if I use the phone every day I am charged 1.99, 2.99, or 3.99 which in the end is the same as my cell phone bill of around $100. I don't get it. Anybody know more about these phones?
I would like to know if there are people out there that are struggling to pay bills, make ends meet, and have collectors calling for money. I'm interested in knowing the way people have found ways to generate more income to pay all debts down. Especially, the single people with a child (children). What hard decisions did you have to make. What sacrifices did you make? I work 40 hours a week M-F. I know if I worked a second job, I could begin to pay off my debts. It sounds easy, but I also have a 12 year old son that would be home alone or with his grandma while I worked. I worry about not being there for him. I know I can work two jobs, I've done it before, things in life easily get out of control, like the housework, cleaning the apartment, because my energy is drained. I want to but I don't want to. Does that make sense?