I live in a very small condo association where there are renters and owners of one and two bedroom condos. I'v become friendly with the ladies that water the plants and walk their dogs. One lady is retired and does volunteer work for the Salvation Army and we've talked about the economy, the state of how alot of people are going through hard times. She has been bringing me coupons every few weeks and she seems to care about me & my son. She signed me up for food from the SA and when I got home last night, there were two, big, heavy boxes of food! Rice, beans, mac n cheese, even cheese and chicken quarters. It is enough to last at least a month. She was a memeber of the chamber of commerce for many years and knows alot of "stuff" and she is going to ask the owner of a one bedroom right next to me, if I could move into his apartment, as he keeps it for a tax write off and won't rent to anyone buy family. This apartment is $535 and would be such a blessing if I could move and not need to rent a truck or all sorts of man power. Anyway, the more I talk with her the more I realize there is hope for me and many people going through hard times. I'm even going to volunteer at the SA once a month or more, because I want to be a part of something that helps so many families. I feel that life is not a set path and there are people and circumstances that come our way and they change my perspective about my journey in this lifetime. People need to reach out and pull their neighbor up and offer the help because you never know how someone could be suffering.

I really don't know what to do I need rent because my son's father doesn't provide his portion of child support and I still need to pay all my bills this month. I just want to give up...i feel like i don't know where to turn or how to make my life better. I'm just getting tired from work because it's super busy at work and I'm working almost 10 hours a day, so I can keep up with my duties, but for what? I don't have a college education and I make 30k a year, there is not anywhere to move or advance in this job and the only reason I've stayed to long is because i have a steady paycheck, but over the past five years I've learned how this company operates and I don't like it. I work my ass of! I put up with b.s. from my boss and I am sure I'm seen as nothing very important there. My position is a customer service coordinator. From what I know this type of position isn't worth much on the pay scale. I need to make a change, but will it be for the better or the worse? the economy is all screwed up and who knows what will happen next. I feel that my life is crashing down and I can't fix it in time for me to enjoy it. I'm in my 40's and I feel hopeless. I've raised my child for thirteen years with not much support from his dad and I'm just tired. I'm tired of struggling and being the head of a household and working this job and not getting ahead. What is the purpose of working if there's not a goal to work for? I'm just running out of energy. I am not respected at work, I know I'm seen as a low paying position person, my ideas aren't valued and I hate everything in my life right now. I spoke to my son's dad and he's got a job to do work on a residential home that supposedly is going to pay him around 8,000 dollars. he screws with my head and plays games with me by telling me he's going to give me 1,000 dollars that I desperately need, then he dissappears, then he's back, now he's sleeping in his truck, he has no residence, he makes my life hell, because he has never stood up and taken responsibility with his child. He's actually giving his dad money, because, he feels sorry for him. I've raised this child for 13 years and have started college and stopped and I have 58,000 in undergraduate loans and no degree! I have like 48 some odd credits and I still have not managed to complete some education to become financially secure. I've dealt with everything that comes with raising a child and to top it off, he's had ADHD since he was about 4 years old, adding to the challenge of raising a child, I have been drained with medical costs for prescriptions, counseling bills, doctor bills, more counseling bills all to make sure I'm doing everything I can to raise my son with a fighting chance to make it in this world. But, along the way I'm just losing my will and don't know what i should do for my education. I'm so stressed all the time about my situation I can't concentrate at work and have had to stop my last enrollment a year ago,anyway,when my dad died. I don't trust anything anymore, I was going to be a nurse, because it was a secure job and the healthcare field is booming, then I hear that hospitals are short of help, because they won't hire nurses because of the economy. I'm so confused..I don't know what to study.

Wouldn't that just be the key to all my money problems? Sell a house and make a few thousand dollars!!! I went to a meeting for information that I could use to start working on a real estate license. I know the economy and housing market are rocky and just coming out of a recession. I know there are costs involved and that I might not make a sale for a very long time, and the banks are not lending, BUT, what if I got licensed and began now and maybe in time the market will become stronger and I'll be able to make money!! Keep in mind, I have no financial, economic, business knowledge or know the way our financial work operates, so my terminology here may not be correct. All I know is I haven't had a raise in 3 years, my job is a dead ender, I need to look for another avenue to earn a living, either I go back to college or find a new job. There's so much to think about!

I've began to go through the tubs and boxes of the "stuff" that is "stored" in the closets. I have the typical things most people with kids probably have: old clothes, shoes, sports equipment, toys, stuffed animals, books, baby memorabilia, blankets, comforters, purses, a cordless phone, small american indian figures (I bought at a Pow Wow) an automatic pet timer, and I'm really not sure if people will want this used stuff. I took pictures of my desk, couch, two dressers and need to decide if I should do ebay or craigslist or a sign at work. This took most of my weekend, weeding through everything and that was just my closet. I need to take pictures of all my stuff and get it out there so a potential buyer can see it. So, I haven't had any additional money since my last paycheck. I've read about starting a blog, pet sitting, house sitting, etc. and it all takes time to organize and get my services out to people. I'm a bit overwhelmed. And, when I do make some money, anything, what will I use it for?

Today I had $6.00 to put in my gas tank, that is 1/4 a tank. I have two more days until payday. My mom gave me $100 because she knows I have no money, no gas, and little food. I started out with my $100 and went to Sam's club, because I thought I could get a few items, and stock up for a few days. This is what I put into the cart:
Chicken Breasts: $14
Hamberger: $12
Two lunch meat packs: $12
One pack of (3) tortillas: $4
Cheese: $7
Broccoli: $4
Eggs: (2)pack of 18: $4
Gogurt: $7
Cereal: $9
That was almost $65.00, so I put back everything but, the eggs, Gogurt, tortillas, and cereal.
I spent $23.00.
I went to Wal-Mart and then picked up paper towels, toilet paper, lysol, napkins, cat food, dish soap, and I spent $33.00 there. Since I still needed at least $30 for gas, I couldn't get much. I managed to lose $30.00 from my stop at Sam's Club and Wal-mart.
So I got $6 in gas. I am so tired of always being out of money and necessities.
I then went home without chicken or hamberger, and made something a little creative, here's what I made:
Cooked SPAM in pan with a spicey/sweet sauce, rice in the rice cooker and added some milk, butter, clove, nutmeg, cinnamon, and curry, which gave it a different good flavor. I fried a few eggs and then boiled frozen peas and carrots. I served my concoction on iceberg lettuce. The best part, my son ate it! I guess I can be creative when necessary. So this week is basically eating odds & ends from the pantry, butter, milk, flour, a piece of bratwurst. Thank God I have spices!