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Stressed to the max...

July 15th, 2011 at 03:08 am

I really don't know what to do I need rent because my son's father doesn't provide his portion of child support and I still need to pay all my bills this month. I just want to give up...i feel like i don't know where to turn or how to make my life better. I'm just getting tired from work because it's super busy at work and I'm working almost 10 hours a day, so I can keep up with my duties, but for what? I don't have a college education and I make 30k a year, there is not anywhere to move or advance in this job and the only reason I've stayed to long is because i have a steady paycheck, but over the past five years I've learned how this company operates and I don't like it. I work my ass of! I put up with b.s. from my boss and I am sure I'm seen as nothing very important there. My position is a customer service coordinator. From what I know this type of position isn't worth much on the pay scale. I need to make a change, but will it be for the better or the worse? the economy is all screwed up and who knows what will happen next. I feel that my life is crashing down and I can't fix it in time for me to enjoy it. I'm in my 40's and I feel hopeless. I've raised my child for thirteen years with not much support from his dad and I'm just tired. I'm tired of struggling and being the head of a household and working this job and not getting ahead. What is the purpose of working if there's not a goal to work for? I'm just running out of energy. I am not respected at work, I know I'm seen as a low paying position person, my ideas aren't valued and I hate everything in my life right now. I spoke to my son's dad and he's got a job to do work on a residential home that supposedly is going to pay him around 8,000 dollars. he screws with my head and plays games with me by telling me he's going to give me 1,000 dollars that I desperately need, then he dissappears, then he's back, now he's sleeping in his truck, he has no residence, he makes my life hell, because he has never stood up and taken responsibility with his child. He's actually giving his dad money, because, he feels sorry for him. I've raised this child for 13 years and have started college and stopped and I have 58,000 in undergraduate loans and no degree! I have like 48 some odd credits and I still have not managed to complete some education to become financially secure. I've dealt with everything that comes with raising a child and to top it off, he's had ADHD since he was about 4 years old, adding to the challenge of raising a child, I have been drained with medical costs for prescriptions, counseling bills, doctor bills, more counseling bills all to make sure I'm doing everything I can to raise my son with a fighting chance to make it in this world. But, along the way I'm just losing my will and don't know what i should do for my education. I'm so stressed all the time about my situation I can't concentrate at work and have had to stop my last enrollment a year ago,anyway,when my dad died. I don't trust anything anymore, I was going to be a nurse, because it was a secure job and the healthcare field is booming, then I hear that hospitals are short of help, because they won't hire nurses because of the economy. I'm so confused..I don't know what to study.

6 Responses to “Stressed to the max...”

  1. snafu Says:

    I hear your worry and frustration and wish there was some quick fix to offer but sadly, there is not. Each of us are working hard trying our best to keep our head above water. We see you are doing the best you can and offer support. What can you do to give yourself a reward? Perhaps a bubble bath, a fresh cup of coffee, a walk in the park? A game with DS that allows you to laugh?

    DS's father is a jerk that can't be counted on, but don't let him mess with your head. Keep firm pressure for child support and be pleasantly surprised if he delivers on promises...don't let yourself count on him to fulfill responsibility. I hope you have family or friends who can help your morale. Some people find they get solace and support from their church. Other get motivational books and CDs from their library.

    Perhaps you can get some level of enjoyment from yur work, solving other people's problems. My favorite coping device for ghastly boss or colleague is to find something, anything as a plausible compliment. The look on their face can cheer me up for a week. It's too funny. Good wishes going your way

    and will have to take a deep breath and work through hour by hour.

  2. CB in the City Says:

    I have been in your shoes, a single low-income mother. I did get child support, but not necessarily on time. I had to learn to never budget according to what my ex gave me, but to treat it as a windfall. Anyway, I am in a much better position now, with my children grown; just want you to know there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep on keeping on. Try not to focus on the negative; grab every positive you can and polish it up! You CAN do this!

    I would not encourage going back to school right now. Student loans will only add to your burden and a rise in income is not guaranteed. I wasted a year and a lot of money in school right after my divorce and it was a big mistake.

    Stop worrying about what your bosses think (I don't have a high opinion of most bosses) and concentrate on your customers. You are a customer service coordinator? Think about giving them AWESOME service! That will give you satisfaction, too, and your bosses will do what they do anyway.

    Life isn't fair; never was, never will be. But you can still do the best you can with what you have. Take heart. You have shown incredible strength just living this life. Tap into that strength and believe in yourself.

    Yeah, I know I sound like a calendar, but I really mean this, because I've been there and I know it works.

    HUGS!!

  3. North Georgia Gal Says:

    Can you go through a state agency to get child support? They collect it for me and they have real life consequences if it isn't paid. In GA, the father loses his license and eventually ends up in jail if it isn't paid. But I agree with CB, treat anything you get as a windfall.

    This too shall pass. I think we have all been in your position. I know I have. Just have to keep on going even when you don't feel like it. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to get deep enough in the tunnel to see it.

  4. Jerry Says:

    All of the people I know who have earned nursing degrees (RN or BSN) in the past couple of years have had their training lead to jobs almost immediately, and they earn a good salary with insurance and benefits. I am sorry to read about your trials, but I also know that if you stick with it you can accomplish your goals. Good luck!
    Jerry

  5. CCraw Says:

    Hang in there Gingerbell! I was in your shoes and reading your post sounds alot like what I would have said a couple of years ago. I was a single mother of three children for ten years, the hardest years of my life with only myself to depend on. Sometimes it does seem like it's for nothing and you do ask yourself what the point is.
    You must hang in there for your son, you are showing him how to be a responsible adult and he is also learning that there are good and also hard times in life. My children are all grown now but they absolutely learned alot from being raised by a single mother with no college education and who was stuck in a dead end job. All are in college now and are very responsible young adults, as I'm sure your son will be.
    Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way!

  6. crazyliblady Says:

    I feel for you and your situation. It is terribly frustrating when you want to be able to pay your bills and have a little extra leftover. I have been there. It does get better. I do not know what state you are in, but in the state I am in, there is a program with the state government to help single moms to go to college. If you want to go to college, check to see if there is such a program where you are. Check with your state's Job Service to see if there are other jobs out there that you can qualify for. Also, check into food stamps. There is no shame in taking assistance when you need it.

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