I really don't know what to do I need rent because my son's father doesn't provide his portion of child support and I still need to pay all my bills this month. I just want to give up...i feel like i don't know where to turn or how to make my life better. I'm just getting tired from work because it's super busy at work and I'm working almost 10 hours a day, so I can keep up with my duties, but for what? I don't have a college education and I make 30k a year, there is not anywhere to move or advance in this job and the only reason I've stayed to long is because i have a steady paycheck, but over the past five years I've learned how this company operates and I don't like it. I work my ass of! I put up with b.s. from my boss and I am sure I'm seen as nothing very important there. My position is a customer service coordinator. From what I know this type of position isn't worth much on the pay scale. I need to make a change, but will it be for the better or the worse? the economy is all screwed up and who knows what will happen next. I feel that my life is crashing down and I can't fix it in time for me to enjoy it. I'm in my 40's and I feel hopeless. I've raised my child for thirteen years with not much support from his dad and I'm just tired. I'm tired of struggling and being the head of a household and working this job and not getting ahead. What is the purpose of working if there's not a goal to work for? I'm just running out of energy. I am not respected at work, I know I'm seen as a low paying position person, my ideas aren't valued and I hate everything in my life right now. I spoke to my son's dad and he's got a job to do work on a residential home that supposedly is going to pay him around 8,000 dollars. he screws with my head and plays games with me by telling me he's going to give me 1,000 dollars that I desperately need, then he dissappears, then he's back, now he's sleeping in his truck, he has no residence, he makes my life hell, because he has never stood up and taken responsibility with his child. He's actually giving his dad money, because, he feels sorry for him. I've raised this child for 13 years and have started college and stopped and I have 58,000 in undergraduate loans and no degree! I have like 48 some odd credits and I still have not managed to complete some education to become financially secure. I've dealt with everything that comes with raising a child and to top it off, he's had ADHD since he was about 4 years old, adding to the challenge of raising a child, I have been drained with medical costs for prescriptions, counseling bills, doctor bills, more counseling bills all to make sure I'm doing everything I can to raise my son with a fighting chance to make it in this world. But, along the way I'm just losing my will and don't know what i should do for my education. I'm so stressed all the time about my situation I can't concentrate at work and have had to stop my last enrollment a year ago,anyway,when my dad died. I don't trust anything anymore, I was going to be a nurse, because it was a secure job and the healthcare field is booming, then I hear that hospitals are short of help, because they won't hire nurses because of the economy. I'm so confused..I don't know what to study.
Stressed to the max...
July 15th, 2011 at 04:08 am
July 15th, 2011 at 07:39 am 1310711973
DS's father is a jerk that can't be counted on, but don't let him mess with your head. Keep firm pressure for child support and be pleasantly surprised if he delivers on promises...don't let yourself count on him to fulfill responsibility. I hope you have family or friends who can help your morale. Some people find they get solace and support from their church. Other get motivational books and CDs from their library.
Perhaps you can get some level of enjoyment from yur work, solving other people's problems. My favorite coping device for ghastly boss or colleague is to find something, anything as a plausible compliment. The look on their face can cheer me up for a week. It's too funny. Good wishes going your way
and will have to take a deep breath and work through hour by hour.
July 15th, 2011 at 02:31 pm 1310736704
I would not encourage going back to school right now. Student loans will only add to your burden and a rise in income is not guaranteed. I wasted a year and a lot of money in school right after my divorce and it was a big mistake.
Stop worrying about what your bosses think (I don't have a high opinion of most bosses) and concentrate on your customers. You are a customer service coordinator? Think about giving them AWESOME service! That will give you satisfaction, too, and your bosses will do what they do anyway.
Life isn't fair; never was, never will be. But you can still do the best you can with what you have. Take heart. You have shown incredible strength just living this life. Tap into that strength and believe in yourself.
Yeah, I know I sound like a calendar, but I really mean this, because I've been there and I know it works.
HUGS!!
July 15th, 2011 at 02:47 pm 1310737677
This too shall pass. I think we have all been in your position. I know I have. Just have to keep on going even when you don't feel like it. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to get deep enough in the tunnel to see it.
July 15th, 2011 at 08:37 pm 1310758635
Jerry
July 15th, 2011 at 10:11 pm 1310764279
You must hang in there for your son, you are showing him how to be a responsible adult and he is also learning that there are good and also hard times in life. My children are all grown now but they absolutely learned alot from being raised by a single mother with no college education and who was stuck in a dead end job. All are in college now and are very responsible young adults, as I'm sure your son will be.
Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way!
September 25th, 2011 at 10:02 pm 1316984551